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MarriagePath Radio

Broadcasting from Southlake, Texas at DLC Studios. It’s MarriagePath Radio. A place to grow, learn and find healing in your marriage. From money to anger. From In-laws to sex. MarriagePath is just what the doctor ordered. Your host is nationally recognized author, psychotherapist, and speaker, Dr. Les Carter. Do you have concerns about your marriage? MarriagePath wants to help guide you to a more healthy and vibrant relationship. Simply visit MarriagePath.com now and let us know how we can help your marriage not only survive – but thrive!
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Now displaying: Page 6
Jul 4, 2015

One of the grandest wastes of emotional energy comes in the form of defensive communication.  Defensive people are putting their fears on full display, and the results are predictably messy.  This podcast will explore why individuals overemphasize defensiveness, discussing instead how they can break out of this maladaptive pattern.  Learning to build upon self-directed trust can be a preferred way of responding to uncomfortable exchanges.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“When are you most inclined to go into a defensive mode? Why?”

Something to Think about

  • Defensiveness tends to be a colossal waste of communication energy. 
  • Defensive people need to question why they are so threatened by differences.
  • By showing understanding, you do not dilute your convictions.

Want More?

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Jul 4, 2015

Angry people often display a forceful and bold mannerism, giving the appearance of  strength and confidence.  Yet, the more overpowering people are in conveying anger, the more it indicates hidden insecurity.  Secure people don’t have to belittle to get their point across, nor do they feel the need to force-feed their opinions.  This episode will examine how a truly secure nature is at the heart of constructive anger.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“When your anger gets the best of you, what insecurity are you commonly struggling with at that moment?”

Something to Think about

Loud, abrasive does not indicate strength, but weakness.

Angry adults usually reveal hurt left over from historical struggles.

Secure people communicate anger with respect, not insults.

Want More?

 

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Jul 4, 2015

Notice that the question is not “Are you controlling?”  Each person has some inclinations toward controlling behavior.  Acknowledging that, you can learn to identify the ways you may inadvertently attempt to control, with the goal of communicating with a much cleaner manner.  In a twist of logic, you can learn that the best way to be in control is to stop trying to be in control.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“In what ways are you most inclined to display a controlling nature?”

Something to Think about

Control is an illusion.  The more you attempt to control, the more out of control your relationship can become.

You are most in control when you cease attempting to be so in control.

Each person has the option to choose how to pursue life, no matter how strongly you attempt to control.

Want More?

 

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Jul 4, 2015

Usually when couples marry they assume they are a good match.  But as time marches on and they are exposed to a broadening array of life experiences, some partners conclude that they are not as good of a match as they once felt.  It is at this point that the relationship can come to a crossroad.  How couples choose to manage differences will literally make or break the marriage.  In this podcast, you will be challenged to learn how to use differences to your advantage.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“In what ways do you feel mismatched in your marriage, and how does this impact your behavior as a spouse?”

Something to Think about

Feeling mismatched is not necessarily an indicator of a bad relationship.

Mismatches can create opportunities for personal growth.

In the midst of a mismatch, you are still responsible for your own relationship healthiness.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Jul 4, 2015

Have you ever told a lie?  Or perhaps it would be more accurate to ask when the last time was that you lied.  Sometimes lies are bold and brazen while other times they are communicated via insincerity or even silence .  Either way, a relationship is going to be damaged by an ongoing hedging of the truth.  In this recording you will be challenged to learn why people lie and the importance of maximizing truthfulness.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“What price have you had to pay for telling a lie?”

Something to Think about

Lying is driven by fear.

Lying leads to a host of other relational and emotional problems.

Lying can indicate a passive aggressive approach toward conflict resolution.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Jul 3, 2015

This episode begins with a heart-warming story about a young teen learning an important life lesson about dignity from an unexpected source.  The podcast elaborates on the theme of innate goodness and how each person deserves proper treatment even when it may not seem natural or deserved.  Dignity is not a quality that has to be earned; rather it is a gift that is given from a heart of decency.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“In your past, what experience have you had that highlighted the importance of recognizing human dignity?”

Something to Think about

Dignity simply is.  It is not an earned quality.

Whether you know it or not, your understanding of dignity is demonstrated many times each day in the way you treat others.

Being a giver of dignity makes you a more content person.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Jul 3, 2015

Many people can communicate firmly, but with a force that is rude and combative.  Others can be calm, but with a manner that invites invalidation.  Would you believe that it is possible to blend your firm convictions with a calm disposition?  If you want to manage personal boundaries well, you can choose to stand strongly for your needs without also being argumentative and imposing.  It requires self-restraint, but a calmly firm person can truly become a person of influence.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“Why do some people not recognize that harshness is an unsuccessful way to state firm convictions?”

Something to Think about

Forceful communication usually ensures that a valid message will not be well received.

Simply put, people like to be addressed in a respectful manner.

When you are attempting to sway someone to your perspective, less is more.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Jul 3, 2015

Some relationships are suffocated by the persistence of jealous emotions.  When jealousy is prominent, the initiator is inevitably controlling, angry, and insecure…traits that are hardly conducive to relationship success.  The recipient of jealousy can feel trapped, invalidated, and misunderstood…hardly the qualities that lead to happiness.  If jealousy is not thwarted, the relationship is bound to flame out.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“If a relationship is defined by large doses of jealousy, what does that say about the participants?”

Something to Think about

  • Jealousy is a cross between anger and insecurity.
  • The heavy use of control puts a relationship on a fast track to destruction.
  • You won’t really know if a person is committed if there is not a spirit of freedom in the relationship.

Want More?

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Jul 3, 2015

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.  Good communication begins with empathy, being a listener who tunes into the other’s perceptions and feelings from that person’s frame of reference.  When empathy levels are low you can expect control and insensitivity to dominate the relationship.  But when empathy is strong, coordination and connection are much more likely.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“What do you suppose is the greatest impact you can have on a relationship by the consistent use of empathy?”

Something to Think about

Empathy involves listening, but it is much more than that.

Empathetic people make consistent use of patience as they take time to sift out why people are the way they are.

The best way to be understood is to show understanding.

Want More?

 

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Jul 3, 2015

Too many individuals manage emotions and communications without really considering what they want to accomplish.  In other words, they can be haphazard in the ways they conduct life.  Conceptual thinkers, however, take the time to ponder who they are:  Why do I communicate as I do?  What are the wisest ways to manage my frustrations?  What are my relationship goals, and how do those goals inform my behaviors?  Instead of merely reacting to what is in front of them, these people are guided by purpose and principles.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“In what circumstances do you tend to react first and think later?”

Something to Think about

When you do not take the time to consider where you are going in your primary relationships, you usually find yourself in an emotional ditch.

Conceptual thinkers recognize that there is no such thing as a meaningless exchange.

 

Conceptual thinkers like to be challenged regarding the why’s of their relationship skills.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Jul 3, 2015

One of the primary ingredients in people who succeed in relationships is conscientiousness.  This is a rich trait that encompasses reliability, courtesy, patience, trustworthiness, consistency, and anticipation.  As you prioritize this trait, your influence increases as others view you as one who “gets” the essence of goodness.  On the other hand, the lack of conscientiousness leads to all sorts of relationship strains that could otherwise be avoided.  You get to choose.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“To you, what does it mean to be a conscientious person?”

Something to Think about

Conscientious people begin with the recognition that life is not all about me.

Conscientious people actively look for ways to help another person’s life go better.

 

By being conscientious, your emotions tend to be more steady and purposeful.

Jul 3, 2015

Do you ever become angry?  Well, of course you do.  Anger is part of your humanity.  A better question is:  Once you elect to express your anger, how do you manage the emotion?  Some elect to be forceful, abrasive, caustic, or insulting.  They mistakenly assume that the more aggressively they convey their thoughts, the more their words will take root in the other’s mind.  (Actually, the net result is that people can barely tolerate ongoing aggression.)  Some, however, choose to communicate with assertion, speaking about their needs and convictions while demonstrating respect for the other’s dignity.  Which tendency describes you best?

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“When your anger becomes aggressive, how are your closest relationships affected? Why do you do this?”

Something to Think about

At the moment you feel anger, you have choices.

Aggressive anger causes a person to be so consumed with Self’s needs that the other’s are dismissed.

 

Assertive anger involves standing for self respect while also showing respect toward the other.

Jul 3, 2015

Let’s face it, sometimes the ones you love most are not exactly the picture of emotional composure.  Disagreements can be met with a thick wall of defense.  Opinions can be expressed insultingly.  Verbal exchanges can become little more than invalidations.  Before you know it, your mood goes from reasonable to awful, leaving you in an emotional pit.  As a contrast, you can learn the art of delicate detachment, which requires you to unhook from your partner’s “invitation” to insanity.  You can choose healthiness even when you are met full force with unhealthiness.  (Yes, it can happen!)

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“In what circumstances will you need to unhook emotionally in order to refrain from unhealthy responses?”

Something to Think about

You cannot afford to allow your emotions to depend too heavily on your partner’s behaviors or pronouncements.

You don’t set my pace; I set my pace.

 

Each individual is responsible for his/her emotional responses.

Jul 3, 2015

When one family member responds to another with strong agitation or irritability, covertly they may really imply:  “I’m shocked that you would act this way!”  Yet pure logic usually leads to the thought:  “Why should I be shocked?  This happens often.”  By sidestepping raw emotionalism based on illogic, and replacing it with common sense and reason, you can become much cleaner in resolving conflict.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“In what way might your agitation be an indication that you are not accepting reality?”

Something to Think about

Shock implies out of control expectations.

The intensity of your anger is an easy indicator of shocked thinking.

 

Common reason allows you to respond to emotionally laden circumstances with fair-mindedness.

Jul 2, 2015

Most people do not think of anger as constructive, understandably so.  Quite commonly, this emotion is accompanied with harsh rhetoric and a belligerent spirit.  In this podcast, we’ll explore how the negative forms of anger can be adjusted into helpful communication, and it all begins by maintaining respect for the other.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“Why do you suppose so many people have difficulty combining anger with respect?”

Something to Think about

  • Respect can be given even when it has not been earned.
  • Respect involves the acknowledgement of the other person’s inherent worth.
  • By showing respect you set the stage for the legitimate message beneath the anger to be received.

Want More?

Visit MarriagePath.com

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