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MarriagePath Radio

Broadcasting from Southlake, Texas at DLC Studios. It’s MarriagePath Radio. A place to grow, learn and find healing in your marriage. From money to anger. From In-laws to sex. MarriagePath is just what the doctor ordered. Your host is nationally recognized author, psychotherapist, and speaker, Dr. Les Carter. Do you have concerns about your marriage? MarriagePath wants to help guide you to a more healthy and vibrant relationship. Simply visit MarriagePath.com now and let us know how we can help your marriage not only survive – but thrive!
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Now displaying: Page 5
Sep 8, 2015

A central ingredient in loving relationships is kindness.  The absence of kindness can allow anger or insecurity to fester, but the presence of kindness can become the foundation for security and clean communication.  This podcast begins with a heart-warming story of a 20 year old college student befriending a 9 year old misfit, and how kindness impacted each in a transforming way.  Then it draws attention to the ingredients needed to bring kindness into family relations in general.  You don’t want to miss this episode.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“How can simple acts of kindness transform family relationships?”

Something to Think about

  • Kindness begets kindness.
  • Kindness is directly linked to your ability to empathize.
  • Kindness is an anti-anger characteristic.

Want More?

 

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Sep 1, 2015

What does it mean to be a good person?  We often refer to goodness as it relates to performances.  For example, we might say you did a good job or you are good at handling certain tasks.  This podcast goes beyond the performance focus as it encourages you to examine goodness as a measure of integrity.  Relationships can succeed only as far as the participants’ goodness will allow.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“To you, what does it mean to be good?”

Something to Think about

  • Goodness is not a measure of achievement, but character.
  • Good people take delight in helping those surrounding them find happiness.
  • Goodness is most powerfully shown (or not) in moments of conflict.

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Aug 24, 2015

Part of any marriage is sex.  It should come as no surprise to discover that individuals within the marriage can differ greatly in their attitudes and approaches toward sex. To keep marital harmony at its peak, couples need a mutually determined game plan for managing sexual expressions. This podcast will go beyond the how-to approach by discussing your underlying beliefs about the meaning of sex.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“What is it about sex that is most meaningful to you?”

Something to Think about

  • Your approach toward sexuality can be a strong indicator regarding your relationship healthiness.
  • Sexuality is most meaningful as it is an extension of servitude and goodness.
  • Your overall reputation of kindness and affirmation tends to be a positive sign that you will approach sexuality with purpose.

Want More?

 

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Aug 18, 2015

When tensions arise, you will need to employ skills emphasizing an even give-and-take flow of communication.  Unfortunately, many individuals have concluded that open, fair exchanges are not likely, so they suppress real emotions and become pleasers instead.  This form of communication is driven by fear, and ultimately it is dishonest.  This podcast will discuss clean alternatives to a more honest, firm approach toward problem solving.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“ What is it about excessive pleasing that can bring strain to a relationship?”

Something to Think about

  • Appeasement represents a form of dishonesty.
  • Appeasers set themselves up for a wide array of inner strains because of the tendency to suppress.
  • Well-defined boundaries can offset the negative effects of being a pleasing person.

Want More?

 

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Aug 14, 2015

What strategies do you employ when you confront?  Most individuals will respond to such a question with: “I haven’t really thought much about that.”  That is exactly why so many confrontations end in ruin.  In this podcast you will be guided through principles that will lead to purposeful confrontations.  The goal will be to teach you how to turn differences into team building possibilities.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“In your primary relationships, how are confrontations typically managed?”

Something to Think about

  • When you lack a well-conceived plan for confrontations, the potential for disappointment is quite high.
  • Successful confrontation is guided by the notion that communication is a two way street.
  • The depth of your emotional maturity (or lack of) is on full display when you confront.

Want More?

 

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Aug 14, 2015

When you communicate consistently with a critical attitude, it tells more about who you are than who you are criticizing.  Critics are struggling with deeper matters like unresolved anger, strong defenses, a need to compensate for insecurity, and a judgmental nature.  This podcast will challenge you to be honest about your own inner tensions that are revealed by your propensity to find fault in others.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“What seems to be the driving force behind the chronic tendency to criticize?”

Something to Think about

Most critics have truth that need to be conveyed, but the delivery can negate the message.

Critics have a need to prove how smart or better they are.

Critics can be too strongly driven by idealism, as opposed to being anchored in realism.

Want More?

 

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Aug 13, 2015

Every person begins life with a need to feel significant, and this need remains until our dying day. This podcast begins with the acknowledgment that being a builder of significance is not always natural, then it offers ten principles that can help individuals become most effective in conveying to others that they indeed are significant

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“How would your closest relationships improve if you were consistently known as a builder of significance?”

Something to Think about

  • Each person, no matter how seemingly confident, wants to feel significant in some way.
  • When you discount another’s significance, your opinions are not well received.
  • The best way for you to build your own significance is to help others find their significance.

Want More?

 

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Aug 13, 2015

In every relationship exchange are two levels of communication, overt (the spoken word) and covert (the unspoken message).  Guess which is more powerful?  To become an effective communicator, your covert messages will need to match your overt messages.  In this podcast you will be challenged to develop full awareness of the power of unspoken communication, and its impact upon relationships.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“What covert messages are transmitted in your primary relationships that undermine cooperation?”

Something to Think about

Your spoken words are not nearly as impactful as you implied meanings.

Most efforts to solve problems are unsuccessful when individuals have a low awareness of the implied attitudes that drive words.

Traits like respect, equality, and acceptance are communicated not by well-chosen words, but by sustained character

Want More?

 

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Aug 13, 2015

Pessimistic communication arises in the most common scenarios.  For example, you might say: “I can’t stand it when you speak to me so rudely.”  The optimistic alternative would be: “When you speak respectfully I feel more comfortable in our discussions.”  This podcast will highlight the stark differences between the two forms of communication, focusing on the mindset that lies beneath your chosen manner of interaction.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“Why is it common for some individuals to speak with complaints rather than compliments?”

Something to Think about

People read covert cues telling them if you are a grouch or an encourager.

Most confrontations are couched in a complaint manner.

It is possible to discuss differences in a fashion that aims toward positive adjustments, as opposed to pointing out what is wrong

Want More?

 

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Jul 5, 2015

You can be air-tight in your logic.  You can have excellent plans.  You can be knowledgable on a wide range of topics.  But if others don’t like you, who cares?  Before any communication can be successful, others need to feel that you are an approachable person, that you truly care.  Likability is an ingredient that will greatly enhance your influence.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“Why might likability be more important than correctness – or is it?”

Something to Think about

Before others follow your lead, they need to feel you are trustworthy.

Empathy and goodness are qualities that lend credibility to your opinions.

Simply put, others are hungry to know that you think they are significant.

Want More?

 

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Jul 4, 2015

Many relationships suffer due to expectations and communications that are controlling, conditional, insistent, and stifling.  A better alternative is to build relations upon the notion that every person has a free will and gets to use it as common sense directs.  When you begin every exchange with an understanding that each person in the equation is genuinely free, the dynamics of the relationship change dramatically.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“How might your primary relationships change if there was less control and more freedom?”

Something to Think about

Freedom includes the privilege to choose, and the absence of coercion.

Freedom implies that each person is responsible for his or her manner of life.

Smart free people realize that consequences follow each choice, so they accommodate this truth as they engage with others.

Want More?

 

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Jul 4, 2015

How hard is it to say the simple words “I’m sorry,” or “I was wrong”?  Well, many individuals find it next to impossible to utter such a sentiment, even when the evidence is glaringly obvious that they are indeed in error.  Why does this happen?  This podcast will examine some of the behind-the-scenes tension that inhibits individuals from admitting wrongs, exploring also how this tendency can be remedied.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“What is it about saying “I’m sorry” that is so threatening to some individuals?”

Something to Think about

It is not a crime to be a mistake maker.

Even when you refuse to admit wrongs, others notice them anyway, meaning you lose credibility.

Admitting faults requires humility, a trait that is not always natural to some.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Jul 4, 2015

Some individuals pride themselves (in a good way) for their willingness to receive input, making adjustments that will benefit those they relate with.  Those same people can feel baffled when they encounter others who absolutely will not budge or make necessary adjustments.  This episode will challenge healthy communicators to understand why some folks remain stuck in their maladaptive ways so they can cease being drawn into poor patterns of reaction.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“Do you believe that some people are truly incapable of change, or is choice always at the heart of the matter?”

Something to Think about

Too commonly, emotion vetoes logic instead of the other way around.

The refusal to change is closely linked to the need to control.

Change happens when knowledge leads to wisdom.

Want More?

 

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Jul 4, 2015

One of the most common problems in marriage and family discussions is the tendency to approach differences with an unbending agenda.  This leads to what might be called imperative communication.  While imperative people inevitably have a strong sense of correctness, they overlook how their rigidity conveys low levels of respect, acceptance, and trust.  They need to learn that their correctness can be more readily received when control is dropped in favor of dignity and open-mindedness.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“In what ways might an insistence upon correctness be detrimental to a relationship?”

Something to Think about

A lazy approach to relationships includes a perpetual appeal to rules and obligation.

Being right is not the ultimate good.

When you communicate with imperatives, there are a multitude of hidden, covert messages that sabotage relational success.

Want More?

 

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Jul 4, 2015

If you want to ruin a relationship, merely inject critical sentiments during common conversations.  Though most people recognize the harmfulness of this trait, many can hardly stop themselves when they feel the urge to criticize.  This discussion will focus on the why’s of a critical nature, exploring much more edifying alternatives.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“Why do you suppose it is so easy for many people to slip into a pattern of expressing criticisms?”

Something to Think about

A critical spirit is an indicator of underlying anger issues.

Critical people attempt to elevate their own well-being at someone else’s expense.

The net result of ongoing criticism is diminished influence.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Jul 4, 2015

While we might be tempted to identify fear with deep dread or apprehension, it can show itself in many nuanced ways.  For instance, fearful people can be easily defensive.  They can have hair-trigger anger.  They can be evasive, and likewise, they might withdraw.  Perhaps they just smile even when they are dying inside.  This episode will discuss how some individuals may unknowingly allow fear to become so influential that it is a defining feature in their personalities.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“In what ways might fear be demonstrated in your exchanges with others?”

Something to Think about

Frequently fear can be revealed in times of anger and conflict.

One of the most common displays of fear is defensiveness.

Fearful behaviors indicates a lack of trust in oneself.

Want More?

 

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Jul 4, 2015

Confrontations are part of any ongoing close relationship.  It can actually be good to air out differences as a means of keeping a clean slate.  Some people, however, confront by asking questions that accuse, shame, or embarrass the recipient.  Predictably, a very awkward standoff can result.  This podcast will identify healthy alternatives to this crooked manner of making a point.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“When you ask loaded questions, especially in moments of conflict, what is the likely response you will receive?”

Something to Think about

Cornering questions represents a crooked way of expressing needs and feelings.

Virtually never will you get a clean response when you try to make a point via questions.

Behind the question can be a legitimate sentiment, so it would make sense to flatten out the question and simply state your need.

Want More?

 

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Jul 4, 2015

No one is exempt from feeling anger.  Many individuals, for a wide variety of reasons, have determined that the open expression of anger will lead to no good result, so they suppress.  When that happens, the anger does not just dissolve, but it morphs into other traits like resentment, futility, anxiety, and more.  In this podcast you will be guided toward a mindset that will result in a more honest and constructive management of your emotion.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“What is the net effect of holding in your tensions and frustrations for an extended period of time?”

Something to Think about

Just because you suppress your anger doesn’t mean you have gotten rid of it.

The suppression of anger is certain to create ongoing problems both interpersonally and intrapersonally.

When you choose to be open with your anger, you are not required to be a master of debate.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Jul 4, 2015

Lots of people joke about pop psychology emphasizing touchy-feely communications.  This podcast begins with the question: So what’s so awful about being touchy-feely?  Emotions are part of humanity, and when women and men become comfortable with the gentle aspects of life, everyone wins.   As you listen you will be encouraged to incorporate love as a driving force for relational wholeness.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“Why do you suppose some people are reluctant to reveal feelings, even the positive ones?”

Something to Think about

  • Relationships are more than just functional arrangements.
  • Positive emotional exchanges build bridges to the heart.
  • Everyone needs positive reinforcement, and you can be the person who provides it.

Want More?

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Jul 4, 2015

This episode opens with the story of a gentle rabbit’s engagement with a wily alligator who offers an all-too-familiar reminder that despite good appearances, some things never change.  Have you ever engaged with a person who can seem helpful and friendly, only to reveal in crucial moments there is a dangerous person behind the mask of goodness?  Thoughts will be offered about the ways to respond to the alligators in your life.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“Think of someone in your life who is an alligator.  How does that person draw out the worst in you?”

Something to Think about

  • Some people can never be trusted with your core needs or feelings.
  • When you expect an alligator to be a normal person you will get bit.
  • You cannot afford to reason with an alligator.

Want More?

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Jul 4, 2015

Many family members presume they are accepted as long as their behaviors meet proper standards, as if an air of judgment hangs over them.  By contrast, this recording will present a non-judgmental manner of communicating as lifestyle responsibilities are discussed.  Drawing first from parenting techniques that de-emphasize grades while prioritizing descriptive communication, you will learn to be creatively expressive in your adult exchanges as well.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“How would your communication be transformed if you judged less and described more?”

Something to Think about

  • Since earliest childhood we have been trained to label behaviors as good or bad.
  • Labelling inhibits individuals from exploring the real self.
  • Being descriptive allows communication to flow in a more authentic manner.

Want More?

Visit MarriagePath.com

Jul 4, 2015

Sad as it may seem, many adults communicate like frustrated pre-teens when they disagree.  They can gripe, accuse, call names, appeal to rules, and refuse to listen…just like a common twelve year old kid.  This podcast draws out comparisons and contrasts of pre-adolescent communication to adult communication.  In other words, the listener will be promoted to ask: “Am I willing to drop childish tendencies so I can be fair-minded even in the midst of challenging tensions?”

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“What does your communication look like when you or your partner go into a pre-adolescent form of exchange?”

Something to Think about

  • Pre-adolescent communication is driven by raw impulse, not thoughtful planning.
  • Many adults have not progresses beyond childhood forms of communication, even though they enjoy other forms of adult success.
  • Adult to adult communication is not typified by shame, insults, or blame.

Want More?

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Jul 4, 2015

One of the grandest wastes of emotional energy comes in the form of defensive communication.  Defensive people are putting their fears on full display, and the results are predictably messy.  This podcast will explore why individuals overemphasize defensiveness, discussing instead how they can break out of this maladaptive pattern.  Learning to build upon self-directed trust can be a preferred way of responding to uncomfortable exchanges.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“When are you most inclined to go into a defensive mode? Why?”

Something to Think about

  • Defensiveness tends to be a colossal waste of communication energy. 
  • Defensive people need to question why they are so threatened by differences.
  • By showing understanding, you do not dilute your convictions.

Want More?

Visit MarriagePath.com

Jul 4, 2015

Angry people often display a forceful and bold mannerism, giving the appearance of  strength and confidence.  Yet, the more overpowering people are in conveying anger, the more it indicates hidden insecurity.  Secure people don’t have to belittle to get their point across, nor do they feel the need to force-feed their opinions.  This episode will examine how a truly secure nature is at the heart of constructive anger.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“When your anger gets the best of you, what insecurity are you commonly struggling with at that moment?”

Something to Think about

Loud, abrasive does not indicate strength, but weakness.

Angry adults usually reveal hurt left over from historical struggles.

Secure people communicate anger with respect, not insults.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Jul 4, 2015

Notice that the question is not “Are you controlling?”  Each person has some inclinations toward controlling behavior.  Acknowledging that, you can learn to identify the ways you may inadvertently attempt to control, with the goal of communicating with a much cleaner manner.  In a twist of logic, you can learn that the best way to be in control is to stop trying to be in control.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“In what ways are you most inclined to display a controlling nature?”

Something to Think about

Control is an illusion.  The more you attempt to control, the more out of control your relationship can become.

You are most in control when you cease attempting to be so in control.

Each person has the option to choose how to pursue life, no matter how strongly you attempt to control.

Want More?

 

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