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MarriagePath Radio

Broadcasting from Southlake, Texas at DLC Studios. It’s MarriagePath Radio. A place to grow, learn and find healing in your marriage. From money to anger. From In-laws to sex. MarriagePath is just what the doctor ordered. Your host is nationally recognized author, psychotherapist, and speaker, Dr. Les Carter. Do you have concerns about your marriage? MarriagePath wants to help guide you to a more healthy and vibrant relationship. Simply visit MarriagePath.com now and let us know how we can help your marriage not only survive – but thrive!
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Now displaying: Page 3
Sep 20, 2016

Description

More than just an emotion of physical isolation, loneliness represents the sensation of feeling disconnected and misunderstood. When you are agitated, when conflicts are adversarial, when you struggle with sexual issues, loneliness is in the root system. By learning to respond cleanly to the sensation of disconnection, you will be able to move forward toward relationship healthiness.

Something to Think about:

  • Chronic annoyance indicates a feeling of being misunderstood, disconnected.
  • Sometimes loneliness is self-inflicted, as when you choose not to be proactive in reaching out to others.
  • Minimizing lonely feelings often requires adjustments in expectation.

Let’s Talk Question:

What are some of the signals within your primary relationships indicating emotional disconnect? How can you keep lonely feelings from defining those relationships?

Sep 6, 2016

Description:

Each of us is exposed to cursing, and you may be one of those who frequently communicates with crass words leading the way. Rather than seeing swear words as harmless, it can be challenging to look more fully into the habit of cursing  to determine what you are attempting to accomplish via word choice.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Quite commonly cursing reflects a pessimistic view of the world in general.
  • Even if cursing seems harmless, why not choose to err in the direction of common decency.
  • Cursing rarely accomplishes the goal of affirming.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

Why do you suppose some people balk at the suggestion of curtailing curse words?

Aug 30, 2016

Description:

When someone is inappropriately angry toward you, it is easy to become pulled into the raw mood of the moment. As a contrast, if you can learn to recognize what is truly pushing that person’s anger along, you can develop objective understanding that prevents you from responding in your own maladaptive reactions.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Angry people are commonly drawing upon fear and insecurity as they display their emotion.
  • Often that person’s anger represents a lack of self-awareness, but if you maintain objectivity you can remain steady.
  • Seeing into the other person’s anger can be a crucial step toward maintaining healthy relationship boundaries.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

When your partner becomes angry, what unhealthy reactions can be stirred within you? What are your cleaner alternatives?

Aug 23, 2016

Description:

Often when we experience suffering in the emotional or relational realm, we immediately wonder how to make it go away. Yet while suffering is not pleasant, lessons may be gleaned from it. Pain, though uncomfortable, is there for a reason. As you respond to it, you can find wisdom as you tend to the messages inherent in that situation.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Suffering has a way of taking you “back to the Basics.”
  • Suffering can prompt you to become more proactive in being true to the real you.
  • Empathy can be built upon your difficult life circumstances.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

As you have examined your painful circumstances, what good and necessary lessons have you learned?

Aug 16, 2016

Description:

Often when tensions arise, the prevailing question can be: “What am I supposed to do?” While this is not necessarily a bad question, a more penetrating thought might be: “Who can I be in this moment?”  In this podcast we will focus on the ways your “being” can carry you when “doing” doesn’t seem to solve the problem.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Often the focus on doing is accompanied by a critical, performance-based form of problem solving.
  • When you concentrate on “being” a better person, your responses to tensions tend to be more effective.
  • People tend to respond most to who you are, as opposed to what you do.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

In what circumstances have you found that your “being” is more influential than your “doing”?

Aug 9, 2016

Description:

When you are involved in a relationship as significant as marriage, you will need a clear focus on who you (plural) are and where you are going. In this podcast we specify 10 core values that are of utmost importance as you work together to keep marriage meaningful.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Integrity, respect, and reliability are at the heart of a thriving marriage.
  • Marital love, if it is to be meaningful, needs to be freely chosen, as opposed to being a sheer duty.
  • When you have well-conceived joint plans, your potential for success increases greatly.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

What are the most important 3 or 4 core values you share with your partner?

Aug 2, 2016

Description:

Affairs happen for a reason; they do not just occur by chance. In this podcast we will examine five of the most common qualities that factor into the making an affair. Our purpose is to assist you in figuring out how to respond if an affair has occurred, or better yet, to show you what to address up front so an affair can be averted.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Vulnerability to an affair represents emotional turmoil that has not been resolved.
  • Healthy couples recognize the necessity of accountability and the need for ongoing openness.
  • A goal for all marriages is to make the relationship a safe place where you can explore together who you are and what you believe in.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

If a couple is deliberating about the best ways to affair-proof their marriage, what do you suppose are the most important ingredients that need to be in place?

Jul 26, 2016

Description:

Having connections with people of the opposite gender is both inevitable and normal. That stated, it is good to know how to manage yourself in those relationships so they will not cross the line into an inappropriate bond. In this podcast we will identify ten ways to establish and maintain healthy boundaries so your marriage will be honored even as you interact with people of the opposite sex.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Each person likes to be liked, which also means each person can be vulnerable to opposite sex attractions.
  • When you engage with the opposite gender with deeply personal topics, you are flirting with potential danger.
  • By giving your marriage primacy over all other male/female relationships, you illustrate the presence of trustworthiness.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

What boundaries do you and your spouse have in place that create confidence in maintaining connections with the opposite gender?

Jul 19, 2016

Description:

It is quite common for others to presume they can or should define who you are supposed to be and how you ought to feel and prioritize. In those cases, that represents a violation of relationship boundaries. Rather that collapsing in despair or trying to justify your legitimacy, you can choose to hold confidently to your own uniqueness.

Something to Think about:

 

  • It is not the job of others to define who you are supposed to be. That is your job.
  • Being self-preserving is not the same as selfishness.
  • If others respond poorly to your reasonable choices, that is not your problem to solve.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

Give us an example of a time when others have not respected your boundaries. In that situation, how might you respond reasonably, even when it is probable that the other person will not agree?

Jul 12, 2016

Description:

In part, healthy relationships are defined by an open spirit. Some, however, struggle to know how revealing they can afford to be, and the result is a closed nature. In this podcast we will identify 8 reasons people can relate with a closed spirit, then we will discuss how to adjust so your communication style will not be hindered by a guarded, calculated nature.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Often a closed nature indicates a history of low trust and high control.
  • Change can happen when you determine that you do not have to live in perpetual reaction against others’ behaviors.
  • Your self-revealing behavior can become a form of affirmation.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

When are you inclined to be non-revealing?  What stress might be driving your behavior in that moment?

Jul 5, 2016

Description:

If gratitude is not the most important ingredient for a successful manner of life it is one of the most important. When you naturally see and act upon goodness, your influence increases. Your emotions become more steady. You find contentment more readily. In this podcast you will be challenged to examine your levels of gratitude.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Gratitude is not a behavior to try; rather it is a deeply rooted attitude.
  • When you experience gratitude, a multitude of good things follows.
  • Gratitude allows you to keep envy and tension minimal.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

What are the top 4 or 5 aspects of life you are most grateful for?

Jun 28, 2016

Description:
Once an extra-marital affair is exposed, emotions become erratic and communications can be difficult. Because of the sensitivity of the situation, reason needs to be applied. This podcast gives an overview of twelve areas that need to be addressed so the people involved will have the highest potential of responding to this marital intrusion as constructively as possible.


Something to Think about:
Responding to an emotionally loaded situation with no plan in place will only increase frayed feelings.
A broad array of topics need to be explored so individuals and couples can move forward with confidence that growth can happen in the aftermath of an affair.
Once an affair has happened, the couple faces a fork in the road, with one possibility leading to further disruption and the other leading to maturation.


Let’s Talk Question:
As you face the prospect of responding to an extra-marital affair, what are the top issues that you feel need to be examined most carefully?

Jun 28, 2016

Description:

In every close relationship there is the potential for being misunderstood, dismissed, or scolded.  When those moments occur, it is common to respond with defensiveness or anger. As an alternative, though, you could learn to adjust your thoughts in a manner that would allow self-directed trust to guide your responses. In this episode we will explore how inner trust leads to calm reactions.

Something to Think about:

 

  • When responding to a confrontation, argumentative words imply that you are threatened by the other person.
  • When your character is right, you can choose to sidestep the temptation to justify the legitimacy of who you are.
  • Your calm response to another person’s aggression can have a disarming impact.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

Why is it difficult or unnatural to respond to an unfair confrontation with calm self-trust?

Jun 21, 2016

Description:

You can tell much about a person’s character by observing how they manage the seemingly small matters in relationships. You cannot expect people to be at their best in difficult moments when they give low priority to goodness in mundane incidents. This episode will highlight the good that develops when individuals develop a habit of goodness in small relational episodes.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Rather than seeing a stranger as a nobody, you can treat them as a somebody, even in just that small intersection of time.
  • Choices become trends which become habits which becomes character.
  • What you do in minor moments can predict how you handle large incidents.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

What impact do you feel when you are a part of a random act of kindness?

Jun 14, 2016

Description:

Many people allow events and circumstances to bring out qualities that run counter to what they want to be. This implies that others are setting their pace for them. In this podcast we will look at the alternative of you establishing who you want to be even when it means not going along with the prevailing mood.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Sometimes when we let others influence our behaviors, it is normal. It illustrates our inter-connectedness with others.
  • Too often we lose sight of wise personal choices to the extent that we become swept into patterns contrary to our core values.
  • Setting your own pace is a matter of choice. You do not have to be a chronic reactor to life.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

When are you most susceptible (at home, in public, with extended family) to letting someone else set your pace?  Why do you suppose that happens?

Jun 7, 2016

Description:

When individuals act impatiently they are so intent on pushing events to the finish line that they actually make the task all the more difficult. Living with balanced patience might  feel like you are taking a slower path, yet the results can be much more satisfactory and timely. In this episode we will discuss the ingredients that go into the making of a patient manner of relating.

Something to Think about:

 

  • The patient person is cognizant about the wisest ways to manage anger.
  • Becoming patient requires a curtailing of control and rigid expectations.
  • Patience implies that you give attention to higher priorities like love and goodness.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

What adjustments will you need to make so patience can be a more consistent trait in your relationships?

May 31, 2016

Description:

When strains and tensions arise it is very common for couples to lean into the conflict with agitation and stubbornness. It may feel counter-intuitive, but those are precisely the moments when your calmness is needed most. This episode will explore the traits needed to create peace instead of volatility.

Something to Think about:

 

  • When your partner is clearly in a disagreeable frame of mind, you are not required to become disagreeable too.
  • Strong defenses and controlling communications indicate a lack of peace within yourself.
  • As you offer calmness to a potentially difficult situation, your influence increases greatly.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

Why do you suppose it is difficult to remain peaceful when another person seems to be in a combative frame of mind?

May 24, 2016

Description:

Official studies confirm what common sense tells us:  Homes that give priority to expressions of thanks have higher levels of contentment.  As simple as this notion seems, many minimize a grateful spirit as criticism and annoyance dominate.  This episode will highlight various ways to set the stage for gratitude to be center stage.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Gratitude includes the quality of thankfulness, kindness, and the appreciation of things that are good.
  • Given the truth that some people forget the importance of gratitude, you will need to be intentional in your communication of positive sentiments.
  • As gratitude remains an ongoing ingredient within the home, conflicts are more readily resolved.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

What happens within you when you are the recipient of your partner’s expressions of gratitude?

May 17, 2016

Description:

There is no shortage of scenarios requiring self-restraint.  You may have unhealthy emotional outbursts, quick judgments, spending sprees, poor eating habits, or excessive alcohol consumption (to name just a few).  With each situation, measured choices are greatly preferred over impulses of the moment. This episode will discuss the need for self-restraint and  how to attain it.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Self-restraint can happen only as you emphasize humility and empathy.
  • Your ability to discern between needs and wants is crucial in maintaining self-restraint.
  • Self-restrained individuals actually like the idea of being responsible.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

In what circumstances is self-restraint difficult for you?  What adjustments will you need to make as you tackle this issue?

May 10, 2016

Description:

When strains are openly addressed within marriage, it is far too common to focus on what the other person should do in order to make things right.  The alternative is to have a clear self-focus anchored in wisdom and discernment.  As you plan who you want to be despite unfriendly responses, you can become a model worthy of following.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Sometimes it is impossible to make others change, and continued efforts to make that change happen can lead to your own demise.
  • There are times when the best way to contribute to relational wholeness is to think solo.
  • As you rehearse healthy responses in your private moments, you can be prepared to respond well in tense situations.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

Why do people press so hard to make others change, as opposed to focusing instead on personal initiatives?

May 3, 2016

Description:

Anxiety can be understood as a result of unresolved conflicts.  Specifically, anxious people tend to struggle with fear, anger, and control.  In this episode we will identify the nature of anxiety for the purpose of learning how to keep that emotion from playing a prominent role in your primary relationships.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Anxious individuals have not learned to have a full measure of trust in their decision making abilities.
  • Accompanying anxiety is a fear of being controlled and a wish to somehow find control.
  • You can minimize anxiety as you accept your truth about limitations.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

In what circumstances does anxiety become problematic in your life?  What healthy alternatives do you have in those moments?

Apr 26, 2016

Description:

Rather than looking at life as driven solely by function and duty, spiritually minded people have an understanding that life is guided by an overarching meaning.  They are driven by a desire to accentuate love in each element of daily living.  As spirituality takes over, their influence becomes enhanced because others can more clearly appreciate an outpouring of their respect for human dignity.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Spirituality represents a transformation of the inner character.
  • Spiritual people are known as wise, discerning how to respond to humanity in a manner that promotes goodness.
  • A simple goal of spiritual people is being a giver of joy and encouragement.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

As you have aged, how has your understanding of spirituality changed?

Apr 19, 2016

Description:

While you cannot always choose what your circumstances will bring, you can choose your attitudes.  This podcast focuses on 4 primary beliefs espoused by the late Viktor Frankl who penned his thoughts about a successful life after living through the horrors of the Holocaust. You will be challenged to receive his message of meaning and apply it to everyday life experiences.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Success and happiness are not the goal, but the byproduct.
  • You can learn to predetermine how you will respond to any situation.
  • Meaningful choices can be made as you ponder any common situation in your home.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

What key beliefs do you hold that give you a sense of meaning in your roles within the family?

Apr 12, 2016

Description:

Differences in close relationships cannot be avoided. When they arise, what is your tendency?  You can use the moment to be destructive or you can use it to destroy.  In this segment we will examine how to respond to relational differences in ways that can make you a more well-rounded person and can take your relationship to a higher plane.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Too many individuals respond to differences with invalidation and control.
  • Every person has blind spots, including you. Differences present opportunities to grow and learn.
  • Your maturity level is most on display in the midst of differences.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

What adjustments could you make as you choose to respond to differences constructively?

Apr 5, 2016

Description:

When a person engages in an extramarital affair, it is inevitably accompanied by deception and deservedness (an attitude of entitlement).  For healing to move forward, these two ingredients need to be removed as thoroughly as possible.  This episode will explore the nature of deception and deservedness so you can learn if trust can be rebuilt.

Something to Think about:

 

  • As difficult as it is to come to terms with the act of adultery, secrecy and deception can be and even more troublesome quality to accept.
  • When an offending spouse responds to the problem with an in-charge or demanding nature, it illustrates a lack of true contrition.
  • The offending partner will need to maintain patience, perhaps for an extended time, as efforts are made to get a broken marriage back on track.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

How much questioning and probing is fair as one partner tries to come to terms with the other partner’s infidelity?

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