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MarriagePath Radio

Broadcasting from Southlake, Texas at DLC Studios. It’s MarriagePath Radio. A place to grow, learn and find healing in your marriage. From money to anger. From In-laws to sex. MarriagePath is just what the doctor ordered. Your host is nationally recognized author, psychotherapist, and speaker, Dr. Les Carter. Do you have concerns about your marriage? MarriagePath wants to help guide you to a more healthy and vibrant relationship. Simply visit MarriagePath.com now and let us know how we can help your marriage not only survive – but thrive!
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Now displaying: Category: marriage relationship
Aug 25, 2017

Assertiveness is defined as standing for your your worth, needs, and convictions while also showing regard for others. Unfortunately, when you are clean in your communication, some will still respond poorly. At that point, it becomes your task to stay on point, as opposed to letting the other person hijack your good intentions. And that is what we will address in this podcast.

Something to Think about:

  • Sometimes when people assert, they have a hidden desire to be in control.
  • True assertiveness is anchored in a willingness to be respectful in anger, even when the other person is not of a similar mindset.
  • Successful assertiveness is not contingent upon others cooperating.

Let’s Talk Question:

What is a good example of a time when you need to hold cleanly to your assertiveness even when the other person remains contrary?

Aug 16, 2017

When you are committed to a friendly, kind demeanor, others may see that as an opportunity to manipulate. In order to prevent ongoing toxicity, you will need to balance your goodness with firmness and boundaries. This will require certain internal adjustments to your surrounding circumstances, which will be identified in this podcast.

Something to Think about:

  • Every person you encounter has some form of woundedness, and they “require” you to take responsibility to make them feel good.
  • Sometimes the friendliest thing you can do is confront or be firm.
  • Not all people prioritize empathy or goodness like you do.

Let’s Talk:
In what circumstances has your friendliness worked against you? How does it make you feel?

Aug 8, 2017

Healthy relationships are built upon skills emphasizing connection and affirmation. Sometimes, though, a partner may be reluctant to connect, becoming avoidant. This can be especially common when conflicts arise. When this happens it is reasonable to attempt to connect, but in the event that it doesn’t happen, you will need to be poised to keep your cool. That is what we will address in this podcast.

Something to Think about:

  • Avoidant adults usually have a deep history of relationships that felt unsafe.
  • When the avoidant person predictably becomes defensive, you are under no obligation to play the role of the pursuer.
  • Trust is built when conflicts are managed with understanding and open-mindedness.

Let’s Talk:

When you feel someone is avoiding you unnecessarily, how does it impact you emotionally? In that moment, what healthy options do you have?

Aug 1, 2017

Variety is built into all creation, meaning our relationships are defined by differentness and uniqueness. Even so, we can still choose to be agreeable as we encounter those differences. Agreeable people are able to set aside a competitive spirit, realizing that we are all on the same team. Goodness and affirmation become first priority. In this podcast we will look at the ways you can put this vital trait into play.

Something to Think about:

  • Being agreeable means you are other-focused even as you pursue your personal goals.
  • Agreeable people can be assertive and firm; they do so inside the context of goodness.
  • Those who engage commonly with an agreeable person usually feel significant because of the relationship.

Let’s Talk Question:

What personal adjustments could you make so you could be more consistently known as an agreeable person?

Jul 25, 2017

Some families suffer emotionally because sports participation can create exaggerated, harmful emotions. At its best, sports can create a welcome diversion from the hum-drum elements of life. But at its worst, sports participation can reveal an emptiness of the soul. In this podcast we will examine how to keep sports participation in check so it remains a positive addition to family life.

Something to Think about:

  • Aligning with a sports team is often associated with the need to feel superior over others.
  • Whether consciously or not, some people use sports to take their minds off the painful aspects of life.
  • A balanced approach to sports includes the realization that it is only one of many ways to find relief, happiness, and connection.

Let’s Talk:

What are some examples of episodes illustrating a lopsided approach to sports participation? What would you say is needed in those episodes that would lead to a more balanced life?

Jul 18, 2017

Any marriage or family can be vulnerable to major problems that could be “game-changers.” When a seminal event happens creating questions about the viability of the relationship, that is a time for deep introspection. Rather than running with a “woe is me” mindset, you can be poised for thoughtfulness as never experienced before.

Something to Think about:

  • If you have put a disaster into play, it is time to approach life with humility leading the way.
  • Disasters usually require submission to accountability and soul searching.
  • When major problems arise, it is time to make adjustments in your influential relationships and priorities.

Let’s Talk:

What is the best adjustment that could arise as a result of a major disaster inside your primary relationship?

Jul 11, 2017

Bitter people inevitably have a legitimate reason to feel angry, but over time, the anger becomes so toxic it greatly inhibits that person’s quality of life. While no explanation may suffice as you try to make sense of an injustice, you still have choices regarding your long-term emotional disposition. In this podcast we’ll zero in on seven choices that can keep you from the acidic effects of bitterness.

Something to Think about:

  • Bitter people operate with such a strong sense of justice that it clouds personal well-being.
  • By discerning the appropriate elements inside your anger, you can be positioned to have clearer boundaries.
  • The potential for bitterness can prompt you to focus on the higher priorities in your life that will bring peace.

Let’s Talk:

When something goes really wrong in your life, how can you manage your anger in such a way that it will not turn into bitterness?

Jul 10, 2017

Once controllers admit their secret struggle with insecurity, they will need to take stock of what lies within their personalities. Chief among their struggles is hidden fear. The fact that they insist others must conform indicates they feel threatened by behavior contrary to their preferences. This trend can change, but it begins with self-awareness and honesty, as this podcast will address.

Something to Think about:

Controllers like to be in the dominant position, a sure sign that they fear being “just” equal.
Change can occur as controllers realize how much self-induced stress comes along with their efforts to contain others.
To be less controlling, it is necessary to identify specific traits that are better alternatives.

Let’s Talk Question:

For you to be less controlling, what shifts in your thoughts would lead the way? How would your world become more pleasant as you minimized the need to control?

Jul 10, 2017

When a person acts consistently controlling, behind the scenes is a deep insecurity driven by fear and apprehension. Yet these people often operate with such a low level of self awareness that they cannot admit this obvious truth. Your task, as one who relates with the controller, is to keep your composure, not allowing the other to set your emotional pace.

Something to Think about:

  • Controllers fear being deemed unnecessary.
  • Rather than allowing for differing thoughts and perceptions, controllers must appear to have all the knowledge needed to live with balance.
  • Your ability to respond well to the controller is in direct proportion to your own awareness of your’s and the other’s emotional patterns.

Let’s Talk:

When you feel controlled by someone else how do you get drawn into that person’s dysfunction?

Jul 4, 2017

While love includes a feeling component, it is much deeper than the mood of the moment. Infatuation can emphasize tender affection to the neglect of other matters such as lifestyle responsibilities, money habits, and emotional maturity. In this podcast we will identify six primary ways to build love on ingredients that move a relationship far beyond the infatuation stage.

Something to Think about:

  • When love builds, it is best to accompany it with a patient attitude.
  • Friendship love, and it attending lifestyle adjustments, is more reliable than feel-good experiences.
  • While love does indeed include an emotional component, reason needs to be firmly in place too.

    Let’s Talk:

As you have aged, how has your understanding of love matured?

Jun 27, 2017

Some people have such a strong tendency toward control, power, and invalidation that it creates a form of relationship poison. This can leave you feeling anxious, shamed, and confused. In this podcast we will underscore how you can apply eight lifestyle adjustments that will keep you from being poisoned by such a person.

Something to Think about:

  • Keep in mind that toxic people are deeply insecure, meaning their behavior is about them, not you.
  • When you are in the presence of the toxic person, you will need to live within your boundaries, as opposed to letting them determine who you will be.
  • There are times you will need to limit your exposure to the toxic person.

    Let’s Talk:

What would you say are the most toxic behaviors you have been exposed to? What are your options when those behaviors occur?

Jun 20, 2017

Annoyance means you are aroused to impatience and anger, often by small matters. Usually annoyances don’t last long, yet they occur many times in one day. Without a plan to contain this emotion, your personal disposition can be soured. In this podcast we will identify eight adjustments you can make as you determine to keep annoyances from taking over your day.

Something to Think about:

  • Annoyances are a reminder that we are not in control of all elements of life.
  • Annoyances are part of living in a flawed world.
  • You can use annoying circumstances as motivation to exemplify the cleaner alternatives.

    Let’s Talk:

What are some of your most common annoyances? How can you keep these matters from ruining your emotional disposition?

Jun 13, 2017

It’s one thing to have conflicts about spending money, but at a deeper level, some families are at odds about the meaning of Things. Materialism can prompt persons to become so preoccupied with stuff and with image that they lose sight of relational and spiritual pursuits. In this podcast we will identify the nature of materialism and focus on six ways to keep it from taking over your life.

Something to Think about:

  • Materialists assume they are more acceptable if they possess superior things and if they are associated with superior people.
  • Materialism is associated with a judgmental spirit, increased anxiety, and lowered empathy.
  • Balance can happen as emphasis is placed on matters of the heart, such as being a servant and an encourager.

    Let’s Talk:

What lifestyle adjustments could you make so you would become less susceptible to materialism?

Jun 6, 2017

Affection tends to be in full supply in the initial stages of a marriage, but it can fade over time. Thriving relationships don’t let affections wane, but they are intentional in being tender and gentle when the time requires it. This podcast discusses the many aspects of affection and how to make it central to your relational style.

Something to Think about:

Simply put, people want to be affirmed and that need is ongoing.
Affection generates and then perpetuates patience and goodness.
Affection brings healing to the flaws and imperfections within a relationship.

Let’s Talk:

In what ways would you like affection to increase within your relationships? What ways do you like being affectionate?

May 30, 2017

Inevitably appeasement is the go to behavior associated with unhealthy people pleasing, and that is not a good thing. Yet, appeasement is not always wrong and it can be a necessary ingredient in a relationship that addresses unique needs and preferences. In this podcast we will distinguish healthy and unhealthy appeasement.

Something to Think about:

There are times when we each need to set aside our prefered ways in order to establish a companionable spirit.
When the other operates with an attitude of entitlement or insensitivity, a fair response is to establish your separateness.
Appeasement is appropriate when it is balanced with reasonable self-care.

Let’s Talk:

In what scenarios do you struggle to discern between healthy appeasement versus appropropriate self-care?

May 23, 2017

While most people understand that humility can be a good ingredient in the midst of conflicts, when tense moments occur, pride can take over. To have effective communication, your mindset needs to reflect an understanding of the others in your presence. In this podcast we will identify seven transformative truths that will guide you toward healthy conflict resolution.

Something to Think about:

  • No matter how right you may be, others still have a perspective in need of hearing.
  • Humble people stay away from condescending behaviors, favoring equality instead.
  • Your inner strength can transcend the tense mood of the moment.

Let’s Talk:

In what circumstances do you find humility difficult to enact? How would your influence increase as you truly embrace a humble approach to communication?

May 16, 2017

Most of us are hesitant to share our flaws with others. We know that as some people learn of your imperfections, judgment may ensue. But if you are going to know love in its fullest sense, it requires emotional vulnerability. The good news is that when you share the full you with the right people, you will be positioned to know authentic love.

Something to Think about:

When you reveal only the good parts of you, it implies a passive form of dishonesty.
Intimacy is built upon the belief of equality. While differ in our strengths and weaknesses, there is no need to play the game of one-upmanship.
As we embrace our humanity in its fullest forms, we are poised to know grace.

Let’s Talk:

To you, what are the advantages to being open and vulnerable about your humanity, even if it involves some risk?

May 9, 2017

When persons are engaged in an extra-marital affair they tend not to consider what will happen once the affair comes out into the open. In this podcast we will identify many of the ingredients that need processing once the affair is discovered. You will learn that the layers to the “emotional onion” are many and complicated, and the result can be a renewed commitment to sexual fidelity.

Something to Think about:

  • The discovery of what really happened during an affair is never easy and it foreshadows how difficult it will be to restore trust.
  • Each partner will have many emotional matters (some similar, some different) to address as they come to terms with the news of an affair.
  • Once an affair is out in the open, the ripple effect created tends to be much broader than originally expected.

Let’s Talk:

If there was an affair within your marriage, what do you think would be the most difficult issues to come to terms with?

Want more information on this difficult subject? Visit: The Affair Crisis Plan

May 2, 2017

Often when couples display differences they insist that the other should conform, when harmonizing would be the better alternative. Since it is illogical to insist that two people should think and emote exactly the same, this podcast will focus on ways to create harmony in the midst of differences.

Something to Think about:

  • Many people have a family history that so emphasized conformity that it is quite difficult to choose harmonizing.
  • Harmonizers begin with a mind of acceptance as they look for ways to merge lives with one another.
  • Patience is given priority as couples seek ways to blend.


Let’s Talk:

What would change inside your home if you sought conformity less and harmony more?

Apr 25, 2017

While we tend to think of angry people being rude and caustic, it is possible for angry people to maintain calmness in the midst of that emotion. Calm, firm individuals are seeking respect, and they choose to make their presentation of anger consistent with respect. This podcast will examine that even when you cannot make others act properly in moments of anger, you can still be emotionally steady within yourself.

Something to Think about:

  • Calmly firm people take their cues from inside themselves as opposed to taking cues from others.
  • Calm firmness is grounded in the realization that others do not owe you.
  • In calmness, you can speak your convictions without having to be persuasive or combative.

Let’s Talk:

In what circumstances is it least natural to be both angry and calm? What would you need to adjust inside yourself in order for you to be angry and calm at the same time?

Apr 18, 2017

The phrase “you need to” means you are probably offering advice the other person does not want. While exchanges of perspectives and information can be good, too much of a good thing can perpetuate a feeling of defeat. In this podcast we will explore ways to eliminate defeat at home by finding positive alternatives to “you need to.”

Something to Think about:

  • Unsolicited advice, no matter how well intended, is commonly received as criticism.
  • Your perspectives will be received in direct proportion to your willingness to elicit input from the other person.
  • As your communication is more of a two-way process, you have less of a chance for the build up of defeated emotion.

Let’s Talk:

  • What happens inside your home when advice is given too frequently? What adjustments could you make to create balance in this matter?
Apr 11, 2017

Description:
What would you think if I suggested that meekness can be a beginning point for power and influence (of a good nature)? Meekness is best described as strength under control, or better yet, it is wisdom in action. Meek people pursue personal goals within the context of goodness and they seek to build community. In this podcast we will identify seven essential ways to put meekness into wise action.

Something to Think about:

  • Meek people understand their own basic needs, so they then apply that same understanding toward others.
  • Meek people want others’ days to be better because of their presence in it.
  • Meek people are less concerned about their rights and more concerned about being responsible.

Let’s Talk Question:
In what ways could you adjust your priorities so you could incorporate more meekness in your relationship style?

Apr 4, 2017

Description:

While many people assume that disagreements and fights go hand in hand, it does not have to be that way. Disagreements are a part of any long-term relationship, so it is necessary to have solid rules of engagement to keep tensions in check. This podcast will identify 12 essential ideas that will keep arguments from turning ugly.

Something to Think about:

 

  • With a mind of maturity you can accept that disagreements happen.
  • It is quite reasonable to expect disagreements to be managed with diplomacy and tact.
  • Coordination, not winning, is the goal when addressing disagreements.

 

 

Let’s Talk Question:

In your home what can cause arguments to turn ugly?  In those moments what are the better alternatives?

Mar 28, 2017

Description:

Being an accepting person comes with a cost, beginning with the laying down of your ego. Accepting people sidestep the need to impose their own correctness in favor of displaying respect, even when it cuts against their emotional grain. In this episode we will discuss how you can gain influence via the path of self restraint.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Being accepting can involve a sacrificial attitude.
  • Acceptance means you rise above your immediate impulses to live inside a “big picture” mindset.
  • Self restraint is a trait that an accepting person is quite familiar with.

 

 

Let’s Talk Question:

In what circumstances do you struggle most to lay aside your ego for the purpose of offering acceptance to another?

Mar 21, 2017

As you live with someone for years, flaws and imperfections will repeatedly be displayed. When that happens, it is tempting to focus on making the other person change, but sometimes that effort repeatedly falls flat. That can be a signal that it is time to examine how you can stay steady inwardly even as your externals are not perfect.

Something to Think about: 

  • If you feel annoyed by your partner’s flaws, there is a high probability the same feeling is felt in reverse by the other person.
  • Mature love is maintained by making accepting another person’s imperfections.
  • Assertiveness and boundaries have a place in your response to frustrations, but ultimately you are in charge of your inner peace.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

What ongoing imperfections do you need to accept in your mate, and in reverse, what imperfections does your mate need to accept in you?

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