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MarriagePath Radio

Broadcasting from Southlake, Texas at DLC Studios. It’s MarriagePath Radio. A place to grow, learn and find healing in your marriage. From money to anger. From In-laws to sex. MarriagePath is just what the doctor ordered. Your host is nationally recognized author, psychotherapist, and speaker, Dr. Les Carter. Do you have concerns about your marriage? MarriagePath wants to help guide you to a more healthy and vibrant relationship. Simply visit MarriagePath.com now and let us know how we can help your marriage not only survive – but thrive!
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Now displaying: 2015
Dec 29, 2015

Description:

Every person alive has a natural predisposition toward selfishness. While not a flattering thought, your understanding of this can prompt you to seek alternatives.  Healthy individuals recognize that humility can be prioritized over prideful self absorption, and by doing so they can be positioned to have mature lifestyle habits.

Something to Think about:

 

  • More than just raw egotism, pride is at the base of a very wide array of troublesome emotions and behaviors.
  • When people choose to de-emphasize pride, they begin the process of their own maturation.
  • Humility is the foundation for real emotional strength and lasting influence.

 

Let’s Talk Question:

In what ways do you need to exchange selfish behaviors for the more humble alternatives?

Dec 22, 2015

You can tell if individuals operate with healthy self-acceptance by simply observing their behaviors.  For example, when you have chronic agitation or if you argue too easily that tells us you are struggling inwardly.  This episode will identify 10 ways self-acceptance is truly made known.

Something to Think about:

 

  • Your communication style, especially in moments of strain, offers a clear commentary about your levels of inner well-being.
  • Self-accepting people feel little need to defend or control.
  • Once you shore up your inner security your manner of relating will improve significantly.

Let’s Talk Question:

In your life, what behaviors indicate that you may be struggling with inner well-being?

Dec 15, 2015

Description:

You can quickly discern how healthy an individual is by observing the way that person responds to hurt and tension.  Ideally it is best to allow emotions to be present even as you objectively figure out the wisest ways to maintain balance.  Unfortunately some people respond to tensions with a Victim’s Mentality, meaning they stay stuck in troublesome patterns.  This episode will expose 10 ways Victim’s thwart personal growth, and you will be challenged to develop the mind of The Overcomer.



Something to Think about:

  • Life can bring pain and it is normal to experience strained emotions.

  • Perpetual Victims can be so invested in blaming others that they become their own worst enemy.

  • Overcomers know that even when people and events disappoint, they are still responsible for their own choices as they move forward.



Let’s Talk Question:

Why do you suppose it is so tempting to blame (as opposed to being objective) when problems arise in key relationships?

Dec 8, 2015

Description:

You want your home to be the place where you can relax, unwind, and be fully you, right? Unfortunately some relationships generate enough strain and tension that it does not leave you feeling safe in your own home. In this episode we will compare and contrast what it means to create unsafe versus safe ingredients in your primary relationships.



Something to Think about:

  • Safe people can handle conflicts using dignified communication.

  • Whereas unsafe people sabotage intimacy, safe people are skilled at being approachable.

  • Safe people stay away from invalidating or defensive exchanges, emphasizing empathy and fair-mindedness.



Let’s Talk Question:

“What needs to change in your home so a feeling of safeness could be more prominent?”

Dec 1, 2015

Description:

At times, family problems can be greatly exaggerated by the use of alcohol.  When a person has difficulty maintaining balance in alcohol consumption, it is highly probable that imbalances will occur elsewhere.  In this episode we will discuss the potential pitfalls of imbalanced alcohol use, focusing on helpful suggestions that will assist you in keeping alcohol from being a negative contributor to your primary relationships.



Something to Think about:

  • Misuse of alcohol commonly adds to relational and emotional tensions.

  • Alcohol use is most likely to be balanced when you have a well-conceived plan regarding its place in your life.

  • When individuals can be objective in determining modesty, it usually is the result of an empathetic attitude.



Let’s Talk Question:

“In your home, what does your attitude about alcohol say about your overall approach to relationships?”

Nov 24, 2015

Description:

Sometimes, no matter how right or appropriate you are, your efforts to address frustrations fall flat. At that point you may need to reassess your goals to include the release of your anger – letting go of it. This choice is not always desirable or natural, but it may represent your best option for inner peace. In this episode, we’ll explore what it means to move beyond repetitive anger.



Something to Think about:

  • The truth is that sometimes the same old problems recur no matter how cleanly you attempt to resolve it.

  • Many individuals become weighed down by their anger as they continue to apply the same maladaptive efforts that have not worked for years.

  • Releasing anger requires you to manage your emotions well especially when others are not coordinated with you.



Let’s Talk Question:

“What are some of the most common repetitive scenarios in your home where you find yourself at an impasse?”

Nov 17, 2015

Description:

When you commit to a long-term relationship, you probably have some level of expectation that you will experience a reasonable synergy. Unfortunately, some individuals find themselves in close relations where that synergy will never materialize, leaving them with the question: “Now what?” This episode will help you explore your options when faced with a relationship that may never live up to reasonable expectations.

Something to Think about:

  • Not all matches are made in heaven, but that does not necessarily mean they are doomed.

  • Regardless of the other person’s lack of connection to your heart, you are still responsible for monitoring your responses wisely.

  • Deep disagreement gives you the opportunity to discern how to manage your anger and tension constructively.

Let’s Talk Question:

 

“Why do some people seem to be oblivious to insight and awareness, even when you have done a good job explaining yourself?”

 

Nov 10, 2015

Description:

In a high percentage of conflicts, the exchanges devolve into an argument about who is most correct.  Inevitably, this means someone has to be labeled incorrect, and therein lies a serious problem.  This podcast asks:  What might happen if we agreed to be less concerned with absolute correctness and more concerned with establishing a fair-minded exchange of give and take?

Something to Think about:

  • Arguing right versus wrong tends to put the relationship into an instant adversarial mode.

  • Maybe you could learn something if you allowed others to have their separate opinions, freeing you up to become a better listener.

  • Being right is good; being loving is even better.

Let’s Talk Question:

 

“What is it about being right that could become dangerous?”

 

Nov 3, 2015

Description:

Let’s hope that when you are in your 50’s, 60’s and beyond, you will handle life with a fuller maturity than when you were in your 20’s and 30’s.  For this to happen, you will need to contemplate who you are and where your life is headed.  In this podcast, four distinct life stages will be identified and you will be challenged to consider where you are in your own maturation process.

Something to Think about:

  • Ultimately, maturity focuses less on external tasks and instead emphasizes internal contemplation.

  • Many adults never take the time to consider the kind of legacy they want to leave behind.

  • As you mature, you are able to examine your own mistakes as part of the journey.

Let’s Talk Question:

“What primary qualities would you expect to observe in an adult who is committed to an ongoing effort to live maturely?”

Oct 20, 2015

There is no relationship where every minuscule aspect of life can be fully disclosed.  Yet when deliberate efforts are made to hide events or significant facts, problems are sure to ensue.  Healthy relating consists of keeping no secrets of a moral or ethical matter, and by having the fullest accountability that common sense allows.  In other words, being known is essential to being securely connected.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“When has secretiveness hindered your ability to draw close to someone?”

Something to Think about

  • You are only as healthy as your secrets allow you to be.
  • Keepers of secrets usually have a deep history of feeling judged and controlled.
  • Secretiveness becomes its own form of imprisonment.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Oct 13, 2015

When family members disagree, they can readily resort to arguments about the correct way to manage the problem. (“This is the way it ought to be.”)  In many situations, though, correctness is not necessarily the ultimate determinant for resolving problems.  Sometimes wisdom is needed as a means of discerning how to address problems with full discernment.  In this podcast you will be challenged to recognize that while it is nice to be right, it is even better to be wise.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“What is it about the deep need to be correct that can ruin relationships?”

Something to Think about

  • A primary focus on correctness tends to overlook deeper emotional issues, as if the inner person is unimportant.
  • Overly correct people lack the patience to get to know someone’s back story and to allow resolutions to unfold over time.
  • Wise people like to hear about others needs, interpretations, and desires as they discern the best ways to engage.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Oct 6, 2015

Too commonly family members can resort to a scolding form of expression as they attempt to express needs and preferences.  Virtually never is the result positive, yet it can become habitual. This podcast focuses on the damaging effects of scolding communication as it then contrasts it with a more agreeable way of managing disagreements.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“When you are scolded, what does it do to your approach to that relationship?”

Something to Think about

  • Scolding virtually never solves any problem.
  • Scolding is a shame based form of communication.
  • Scolders are deeply insecure as assume they will not be heard unless they establish superiority.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Sep 29, 2015

Passive aggressive anger involves the expression of hurt or frustration in a hidden fashion that minimizes personal vulnerability.  Some people use this form of emotional management so commonly that it is a defining feature.  This podcast will help you identify when others are dragging you down with passive aggressive tactics, focusing on how you can respond in ways that will keep you from feeling trapped by its manipulations.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“What are some common passive aggressive behaviors that sometimes show up in your closest relationships?”

Something to Think about

  • When you enter a power play with a passive aggressive person, you lose.
  • The passive aggressive pattern is anchored in fear disguised as control.
  • A break-through in passive aggressiveness cannot happen without humility.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Sep 22, 2015

At times couples can agonize over major mistakes, lapses in moral judgment, or exposed character defects.  There is no way to make the emotion associated with these episodes feel smooth.  In this podcast we will explore how struggles with deep agony can become the catalyst for personal growth that may never have happened without the problematic circumstances.  Agony can hurt, but pain is sometimes the best way to reach maturity.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“What good can come when a person experiences self-inflicted agony?”

Something to Think about

  • Agony can put you in touch with your deepest beliefs and core values.
  • When managed well, agony can prompt you to know the essence of love and mercy as never before.
  • Agony can strip you of prideful traits, and that’s a good thing.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Sep 15, 2015

Relationships will quickly collapse when trust is lacking.  Trust is the precursor for skills like conflict resolution, building security, being an encourager, and instilling motivation.  This podcast will highlight 12 key ingredients that go into the making of a trustworthy person.  As these qualities are in place, there is a very high probability the relationship will be quite strong.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“What do you look for to indicate a person is trustworthy?”

Something to Think about

  • Trustworthy people like to make and keep commitments.  They are not hot and cold.
  • Openness and transparency are crucial to trustworthiness.
  • Instead of being imposing, trustworthy people respect boundaries.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Sep 8, 2015

A central ingredient in loving relationships is kindness.  The absence of kindness can allow anger or insecurity to fester, but the presence of kindness can become the foundation for security and clean communication.  This podcast begins with a heart-warming story of a 20 year old college student befriending a 9 year old misfit, and how kindness impacted each in a transforming way.  Then it draws attention to the ingredients needed to bring kindness into family relations in general.  You don’t want to miss this episode.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“How can simple acts of kindness transform family relationships?”

Something to Think about

  • Kindness begets kindness.
  • Kindness is directly linked to your ability to empathize.
  • Kindness is an anti-anger characteristic.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Sep 1, 2015

What does it mean to be a good person?  We often refer to goodness as it relates to performances.  For example, we might say you did a good job or you are good at handling certain tasks.  This podcast goes beyond the performance focus as it encourages you to examine goodness as a measure of integrity.  Relationships can succeed only as far as the participants’ goodness will allow.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“To you, what does it mean to be good?”

Something to Think about

  • Goodness is not a measure of achievement, but character.
  • Good people take delight in helping those surrounding them find happiness.
  • Goodness is most powerfully shown (or not) in moments of conflict.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Aug 24, 2015

Part of any marriage is sex.  It should come as no surprise to discover that individuals within the marriage can differ greatly in their attitudes and approaches toward sex. To keep marital harmony at its peak, couples need a mutually determined game plan for managing sexual expressions. This podcast will go beyond the how-to approach by discussing your underlying beliefs about the meaning of sex.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“What is it about sex that is most meaningful to you?”

Something to Think about

  • Your approach toward sexuality can be a strong indicator regarding your relationship healthiness.
  • Sexuality is most meaningful as it is an extension of servitude and goodness.
  • Your overall reputation of kindness and affirmation tends to be a positive sign that you will approach sexuality with purpose.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Aug 18, 2015

When tensions arise, you will need to employ skills emphasizing an even give-and-take flow of communication.  Unfortunately, many individuals have concluded that open, fair exchanges are not likely, so they suppress real emotions and become pleasers instead.  This form of communication is driven by fear, and ultimately it is dishonest.  This podcast will discuss clean alternatives to a more honest, firm approach toward problem solving.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“ What is it about excessive pleasing that can bring strain to a relationship?”

Something to Think about

  • Appeasement represents a form of dishonesty.
  • Appeasers set themselves up for a wide array of inner strains because of the tendency to suppress.
  • Well-defined boundaries can offset the negative effects of being a pleasing person.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Aug 14, 2015

What strategies do you employ when you confront?  Most individuals will respond to such a question with: “I haven’t really thought much about that.”  That is exactly why so many confrontations end in ruin.  In this podcast you will be guided through principles that will lead to purposeful confrontations.  The goal will be to teach you how to turn differences into team building possibilities.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“In your primary relationships, how are confrontations typically managed?”

Something to Think about

  • When you lack a well-conceived plan for confrontations, the potential for disappointment is quite high.
  • Successful confrontation is guided by the notion that communication is a two way street.
  • The depth of your emotional maturity (or lack of) is on full display when you confront.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Aug 14, 2015

When you communicate consistently with a critical attitude, it tells more about who you are than who you are criticizing.  Critics are struggling with deeper matters like unresolved anger, strong defenses, a need to compensate for insecurity, and a judgmental nature.  This podcast will challenge you to be honest about your own inner tensions that are revealed by your propensity to find fault in others.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“What seems to be the driving force behind the chronic tendency to criticize?”

Something to Think about

Most critics have truth that need to be conveyed, but the delivery can negate the message.

Critics have a need to prove how smart or better they are.

Critics can be too strongly driven by idealism, as opposed to being anchored in realism.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Aug 13, 2015

Every person begins life with a need to feel significant, and this need remains until our dying day. This podcast begins with the acknowledgment that being a builder of significance is not always natural, then it offers ten principles that can help individuals become most effective in conveying to others that they indeed are significant

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“How would your closest relationships improve if you were consistently known as a builder of significance?”

Something to Think about

  • Each person, no matter how seemingly confident, wants to feel significant in some way.
  • When you discount another’s significance, your opinions are not well received.
  • The best way for you to build your own significance is to help others find their significance.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Aug 13, 2015

In every relationship exchange are two levels of communication, overt (the spoken word) and covert (the unspoken message).  Guess which is more powerful?  To become an effective communicator, your covert messages will need to match your overt messages.  In this podcast you will be challenged to develop full awareness of the power of unspoken communication, and its impact upon relationships.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“What covert messages are transmitted in your primary relationships that undermine cooperation?”

Something to Think about

Your spoken words are not nearly as impactful as you implied meanings.

Most efforts to solve problems are unsuccessful when individuals have a low awareness of the implied attitudes that drive words.

Traits like respect, equality, and acceptance are communicated not by well-chosen words, but by sustained character

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Aug 13, 2015

Pessimistic communication arises in the most common scenarios.  For example, you might say: “I can’t stand it when you speak to me so rudely.”  The optimistic alternative would be: “When you speak respectfully I feel more comfortable in our discussions.”  This podcast will highlight the stark differences between the two forms of communication, focusing on the mindset that lies beneath your chosen manner of interaction.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“Why is it common for some individuals to speak with complaints rather than compliments?”

Something to Think about

People read covert cues telling them if you are a grouch or an encourager.

Most confrontations are couched in a complaint manner.

It is possible to discuss differences in a fashion that aims toward positive adjustments, as opposed to pointing out what is wrong

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

Jul 5, 2015

You can be air-tight in your logic.  You can have excellent plans.  You can be knowledgable on a wide range of topics.  But if others don’t like you, who cares?  Before any communication can be successful, others need to feel that you are an approachable person, that you truly care.  Likability is an ingredient that will greatly enhance your influence.

Let’s Talk

One of the most important aspects to positive change is communication and questions are the best way to gain deeper insights and develop more innovative solutions. So each week, I ask a question.

“Why might likability be more important than correctness – or is it?”

Something to Think about

Before others follow your lead, they need to feel you are trustworthy.

Empathy and goodness are qualities that lend credibility to your opinions.

Simply put, others are hungry to know that you think they are significant.

Want More?

 

Visit MarriagePath.com

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